#as i constantly see these things being spoken of yet never do these people actually reach out to femstarries

[natsmagi]

sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents

first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!

what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)

i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....

i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?

which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!

all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.

[iridiss]

Garroth growing up in a blood family that doesn’t treat him with any love, so as a kid he wishes so hard for the destined, perfect love of his life to come and save him, whisking him away like a knight in shining armor, to a life where he’s truly loved, and it’s that escapism in fantasy that he’s constantly using to cope and keep himself sane growing up

He dreams of the day someone will love him, unconditionally and truly, and though he doesn’t really know what that’ll look like yet, it’s something that he just knows intrinsically in his heart and yearns for desperately. He’s a big lover, he’s super empathetic and sensitive, he has a big heart, especially as a kid. Whenever he falls for anyone, he falls HARD, but he can’t seem to find anyone who would love him back as much as he loves them (especially since people keep seeing him as The Prince and not lovey little Garroth)

Then Garroth being forced to marry a woman he had never loved and barely even met before. Marriage being used as a giant weapon to forever seal him into the horrific life as heir to the throne, as one of the permanent pieces of this broken and abusive monarchical system, when marriage and love was supposed to be one thing that got him out, and it breaks him so much that he abandons everything and runs away. If no perfect and magical knight in shining armor will save him, then he’ll do it himself, alone.

And then he meets the most romantic knight in the world.

Laurance is so extremely homoerotic and suggestive and flirtatious with him all the time, even in canon, especially in canon

Laurance loves LOUDLY and a LOT, he’s very honest and up-front about all the emotions in his heart, and when he falls in love with someone (as opposed to falling in surface-level lust with someone) he falls HARD, but unlike Garroth, he is NOT shy about it lol

Laurance sending love and affection Garroth’s way in droves, and Garroth being utterly confused and clueless about it, because no one has ever spoken to him this way, hell, I don’t think his sheltered Princely blood has even SEEN any other person talk this way. Like Laurance just honestly and bluntly telling him “Hey big guy, I think you’re hot and cute as fuck, we should fuck on the beach right here, whaddya say?” like how is his brain going to compute that, he’s never even SEEN an affectionate relationship before, let alone seen someone be so clear and forward about it

And Laurance is honest and means every word he says, he’s not trying to play or trick Garroth. At one point Garroth thinks he is and gets super suspicious of him, but then Laurance laughs and denies it so casually and easily, and now Garroth is lost again

He literally meets the most affectionate person ever. He’s honest and upfront about his affections, he’s patient enough to give Garroth all the time in the world, he’s emotionally intelligent enough to know why he’s struggling so much with his gestures, and he’ll just patiently stand there and watch him while he has an existential crisis trying to figure out what love even means after Laurance gave him a bouquet of hand-picked flowers. Trust Issues Garroth would eventually try to accept all these kind things Laurance says about him, rather than deny the compliments and insist he’s all the things Zane and his father called him as a child. He leans into the affections, and Garroth learning how love actually works, as the very man he dreamed of as a child holds his face in his hands, and does not mock or beat or hurt him, but kisses him on the cheek instead.

Garroth learning how to love from Laurance’s unconditional and obnoxious affections, slowly becoming less and less afraid of it, until he embraces it completely and starts to give Laurance So Very Much Loving in return like he was always capable of doing. And Laurance is perfectly capable of handling the immense amount of affection, he finds it exciting actually

And though I don’t think homophobia is a thing that exists in this fantasy world, I think it’s also thematically perfect that Laurance is the exact kind of person that Garroth’s parents would HATE having as a son-in-law. Laurance’s rebellious pride is perfect for that role of breaking Garroth free of the abusive strings of his evil monarchical family and learning how to love himself instead

[bookwyrminspiration]

in-depth opinions on keefe (trying to return you to your roots: getting asks about kotlc characters)?

I may be putting several additional feet in several additional fandoms but I promise y'all have me prisoner and can send me as many keeper asks as you want <3

I will say these are my personal, subjective opinions! Which do include a bit of bias (TLDR at bottom)

For years I was perfectly fine with Keefe; he's never been my favorite, but he had some funny lines and an engaging presence. Never failed to liven things up. This changed around end of Legacy/Stellarlune.

It's not because I don't ship sokeefe, but because I felt sokeefe's execution was rushed and overshadowing the rest of the story. Wasn't even a full book since Sophie broke up with Fitz and said she wasn't ready for a relationship, yet there they are. I think they, and we, deserved more time. (and yes, Keefe exists beyond shipping, but given how HUGE of a role it plays in his in-text and fandom presence, i find it relevant)

Of course that's not Keefe's fault, but seeing all the adoration for what I found lackluster kinda pavloved me into a general distaste. Especially when done at the expense at Fitz, one of my favorites. Which is unfair, but I did say there's bias. That's not to say I'm mid on Keefe because I love Fitz or that you can't love both, just that personally I'm a Fitz fan, and seeing Keefe used as a direct comparison to shoot him down doesn't endear him to me (and no, not everybody does this, but I've seen it enough to be impacted)

As for Keefe independently, he's following the path of Ro. Too many traits are staying stagnant and becoming repetitive, which is adulterating what I used to enjoy. The way he steamrolls everything--forcing hands to go to Ravagog in Neverseen, running away in Lodestar and refusing to listen, the mercadir incident in Nightfall, the going behind everyone's back thing in Legacy, the running away again, etc. At first it was annoying but interesting, but at this point it's like...we're still doing this?

The amount of time and effort Sophie has to expend managing Keefe is ridiculous. if we could just knock him out for like 2 months I think she could fix everything. it's gone from a facet of the plot's challenges to straight up nuisance like get tf out of her way !!

Others have mentioned this, but the privacy invasion and making others uncomfortable is another thing that I didn't mind at first but became annoying. A joke or overstep here or there is fine; no one's perfect, and if it moves the story forward, sure. But he's constantly pushing and isn't sorry. And the more it happens, the less I can stand the earlier instances. I do my pagethroughs and just get annoyed where I used to laugh

Is there an understandable explanation for several of these points? yes. how the hell would he know how to have healthy relationships and boundaries when he's been set such bad examples? However, he's also being consistently corrected and ignoring that advice. He's given pep talk after pep talk, has fight after fight, and yet nothing's changed.

Do I think he's beyond saving? No. I've spoken with a few people about this, but I think a key thing holding him back is Sophie's "I could never hate you" promise she keeps making. Because Sophie is the main (if not only) thing that matters to him, he's got a built in safety net for whatever stupid shit he pulls, and never faces the consequences he's really afraid of.

If we took that net away, if he faced her genuine distrust and anger and upset and her exclusion and her hatred--without the "but not really just give me some time" vibe. I think that'd do wonders and we'd actually get somewhere. And also it'd be vindicating to see; the nightfall healing center fight is one of my favorite scenes

TL;DR: In summary, I don't hate Keefe. He has potential and I've enjoyed him in the past. But currently the combination of him being used against Fitz, the lackluster execution of sokeefe (imo), the privacy invasion, and stagnation don't do it for me. His kind of character already isn't my niche, and that doesn't help. Does he have potential to become less annoying? yes! i hope he does for everyone's sakes. until then, mild distaste for him.

i will be taking Fitz, Tam, Cadence, and Luzia and playing in the corner, thanks <3

(this is in no way against Keefe fans. kudos to y'all! i'm simply not one of you atm)

[holiday-7]

justice for timothy heller, madeleine carina, gina frey, stella rose, and allison balchi along with any other potential victims of melanie that may not have spoken out. I'd rather believe a potential liar over a potential rapist. same way how I'd rather believe Pinocchio over R Kelly.

I also remember a while back when they tried spreading lies about jazmin bean, saying that they were jealous of mel and saying that they were copying her. it legit got so bad that jazmin had to say in a tweet (or vid) that they have nothing against mel. they also constantly used the wrong pronouns for jazmin on purpose.

from her fans harassing Oliver tree, to them being racist towards her bf, Melanie has to know that her fanbase is toxic and terrible all around and yet she will not say a single world abt it bc she knows that they are gonna defend her out of terrible controversies and she'll just think that they'll die down even tho they never do. she just allows her fans to silence and harass people and hell, even THANKED them for doing that. and as much as mel says she supports victims in her music, she doesn't actually do so. the same way as much as she says that she cares for the environment, yet sells nfts. "but they were made with non environmental harming material" bitch all nfts are made with the exact same thing and are harmful to the environment no matter how much u change it. and whenever it's sa awareness month I genuinely dont wanna see a single mel fan/defender saying "support victims" as if y'all haven't victimblamed and harassed all 5 of mel's victims for years on end.

that's it. that's all I gotta say.

[cocogum]

Armand’s treatment and how it impacted his life.

(‼️ Spoilers for Wakfu Season 4 and its first four episodes ‼️)

One thing that saddened me a lot when I was watching episode 4 was how Armand revealed to Amalia that he had wished he could go on adventures with her and the brotherhood sometimes.

This surprised me at first but I soon realized that it made perfect sense.

Armand was always jealous of her but I initially thought that it was only because she had the most attention from people, even their father. But Armand is the type to keep his thoughts to himself which would explain why despite how we see him looking at Amalia with a disapproving look, we never really got to hear him express his thoughts to her. His reason for wanting to go on adventures with her is also made clear: not only does he want to explore the world because it seems like fun since his sister always felt happy because of it, but the major reason is that he wants his father to look at him just like how he looked at Amalia.

When he finally tells her all of his thoughts and what he wants, we can’t help but feel like what he wishes to have can no longer be granted. Their father died not long ago, it is now too late to do anything.

Armand could’ve spoken up during all those years Amalia went to go on adventures. He had all the time in the world because he was always beside his father at all times.

But no matter how close he was to him, Armand never had the strength to speak his thoughts just like how Amalia dared to do so. It’s ironic really, Armand had the time and the moment to tell his father everything and yet, he didn’t because he didn’t think it was in his right to speak about himself and what he wanted to try.

The years of constantly seeing how his sister was getting loved by the people, how she was being viewed and called a hero by the very same people he was working hard to protect in his own way, how their father kept praising her constantly for whatever she did, how she kept getting adoration for adventuring and risking her life to save her people, while he was instead cooped up in the kingdom learning and practicing how to become king, left him in a position where he believed Amalia always had the upper hand on anything even when he wanted to express himself.

He had learned that every time he proposed an idea or even said some of his thoughts out loud during a particular situation, he would always get shut down by either his sister or his father, sometimes even both (the time when he decided to use a barrier of vines to block Ogrest’s tears but his father told him that his attempts were just “alright” when they were actually very effective for some time, the time where he told Amalia that she can’t leave while his father is terribly sick but his father supports Amalia and encourages her to go with Yugo, the time when Armand stated that none of the rulers had come to support them but his father cuts him off by saying that the queen of Bonta at least brought Joris to them which made Armand’s words sound minuscule and not as serious as the prince intended, etc.)

Granted, sometimes he deserved it (like the time when he got slapped by Eva when he was disrespectful to Dally in the OVAs or the time he did not listen to Amalia’s warnings when she told him Nox was coming and when she tried explaining who Yugo and Adamaï were back in Season 1 but not being listened to despite having Eva to back her up) but the majority of the time, he was trying his best to please his father and barely got a good comment for it.

So it wouldn’t be far-fetched to think that Armand never spoke about what he wanted to his father because he had a strong feeling that the answer wouldn’t be a good one.

As if things couldn’t get any worse for him, when his father takes his last breath and Armand was the only one there for him, who has been by his side all this time, who has devoted his entire life to training, learn and work hard to be like his father, he had only words for Amalia.

To hear his father only speak about his youngest sister and not mention him at all, must’ve terribly broke him on the inside. Even when his father was on his deathbed, he did not address everything that Armand did for him.

And it’s sad to see this happening.

Even though his relationship with his father and sister was mostly shown in the background, it was pretty obvious that their family had some issues that no one wanted to address in the room.

I feel like, in a way, we can somehow relate to Armand.

To feel like we can’t speak our minds properly because of a sibling or a figure in our lives who has shown to be better than us, even when we do work very hard to get noticed we barely get any comments or praises of the same size as theirs, to feel like we don’t matter as much as them so we should just stop talking and let them have their spotlight at all times.

And when we finally get the chance to gain our confidence or get into a position where we don’t feel as self-conscious as we used to before, we come to find out that it’s already too late to express ourselves to the people we’ve been waiting to truly be honest to, because they’re already gone or have moved on from you.

Armand’s case is a bittersweet and albeit depressing one.

What could have been a story of adventure, even if just for one day, was never realized. What could have been an experience that could have felt like a lifetime never happened. What could have been an adventure where he finally has his fun and gains a unique brotherly sisterly duo bond in combat would never become a reality. And what could have been a special moment in his life where he gets to personally know his sister’s friends would always stay a dream.

If only he knew that even a brotherhood member, Evangelyne, has a sister, Cleophee, who had her fun in the group. And even if it was just for a few days, a few moments, Eva’s sister had cemented her place in the Brotherhood and became an official member. To think that even if he had stayed a bit in the group, he would have not just become a part of their lives, but also become a part of their brotherhood.

But despite it all, Armand kept his chin up and looked forward to the future. He did not wallow in his sadness or blame Amalia for his silence during all these years. Instead, he pulls her up and tells her to not be saddened by their father’s departure, especially in front of his tomb tree, and consoles her as they hug.

Unlike anyone else, I believe Armand was able to push his selfish thoughts away (which involved blaming his sister for everything) and instead behaved like a king, someone who, despite not gaining everything he wanted in life, kept going and faced forward for what was to come.

Even though he has not been abandoned by his family, he did feel like he might've been behind everyone else at some point in his life.

He may have not been a part of the brotherhood but he’ll always have a place in his sister’s heart after what he did for her.

And I believe that his competence and his will to protect his kingdom without leaving for adventure would make him get along greatly with a certain white dragon.

[theworthwhilefight]

taylor swift’s specific brand of feminism is one where she has always been the last person to speak out about human rights and then only does it when it serves her and does the absolute bare minimum. her brand of feminism is calling out the government or stupid fucking confederate statues instead of real, pressing issues. and she came out with that stupid miss americana documentary which i watched once and literally never again in order to paint herself as some progressive white woman champion lmfao. and i’m not here to villainize her because clearly i’ve been a huge fan of hers for the better half of my life and i do agree that she has been a victim of a lot of unnecessary sexist hate and i wouldn’t wish 2016 on anyone but that’s quite literally the extent of her victimhood. everything she has ever endured has been solely to the extent of what a White Woman can endure. taylor swift’s whiteness allows her to selectively choose when she wants to apply her activism (aka defending herself regarding a stupid joke in ginny & georgia) and it allows her to be protected against further hatred that woc and celebrities of color constantly feel and it allows her to date this vile man without feeling any of his hatred directed towards her. she CHOSE to call herself miss americana and act like she’s been on a long journey to becoming an activist lmfao yet does nothing to prove it. and it’s exhausting as a poc to continuously beg her to speak up about shit and then have her go around and not just date him but allow him to play on her stage and continuously be seen being friends and holding hands and kissing him. and she’s not just silly celebrity making a dumb choice, she is quite literally the most famous pop star right now and the people she surrounds herself with MATTER. her associating with people like this only further validates their beliefs and hatred. and i don’t wanna hear a single mf talk abt “letting her be happy” or “staying out of her personal business” bc y’all loved dragging joe once they broke up and y’all love dragging jake and y’all love dragging john so why don’t people actually invest their energy into shaming someone who has an entire history of problematic things he’s happily admitted to doing and start standing up for people who deserve to be stood up for (aka the marginalized groups and individuals he continues to attack and NOT the white woman who supports his actions).

i love taylor swift but let’s not pretend that she’s some white woman champion of progressive rights when at most she’s only spoken up and said the most vanilla shit only when it has convenienced her. as fans, we have the right to be angry about her recent recurring associations with him not just as her boyfriend but as someone who she has allowed on her stage (with phoebe) and call her out on her associating with extremely problematic behavior. this isn’t a post saying we should cancel her or that she’s racist herself or anything, but it’s a reminder that she has always been very much of a white feminist and she needs to see how her actions and associations affect her fans and promote harm.

[theghostbunnie]

I never vent on public social medias but I really need all of this off my chest starting off with my and my best friend's art has been shit talked repetitivelyyyy her as a PERSON being shit talked simply over being my friend and "too defensive over her friends" and her ARTSTYLE HAVING TOO MANY "PRETTY PPL"??? is their ONLY gripes about her bc they have nothing to say about her actual character and it's miserable and cruel and they're a bully she's a goddammit REALISM artist she has to stare at that shit for HOURS, DAYS, WEEKS, OFC SHE WANTS TO LOOK AT SOMETHING PRETTY. AND YK WHAT?? SHE STILL DRAWS FAT PPL AND PPL WITH BIG NOSES, ECT, DIVERSITY, SHE DOSENT EVEN HAVE SAME FACE SYNDROME OR ANYTHING SO IF YOUUU FIND THEM "TOO PRETTY" AND WANT TO DRAG HER FOR THAT?? THAT'S A YOU PROBLEM !! SHE'S BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE TO YOU !! And sooo many insults have made their way back to me they've said about me too but I'm far more at my breaking point with the way my friends have been treated just for being my friends. I have seen screenshots from people I have tried being friends with, people who have even told me they veiw me like a sister shit talk my art along with them or even just half agree.

People TRYING to talk them, mutual friends TRYING to talk to them to work things out and they repetitively do not want to.

I don't fucking care about anybody chronically online argument i can already hear about how they should just keep on getting to behave this way and getting MULTIPLE people to participate in with it just bc they're under 18. When my best friend is too, literally peers. Teenagers. Who know what they're doing.

This type of behavior has made this last year in the camp camp fandom absolutely completely fun sucked dry.

And I have well earned this ONE crash out, this one post, because if I hear one argument I can already smell coming of oh maybe they've had a hard time recently and they took their emotions out on my friends,

Well my FATHER DIED, right after I ran away from home with my half sister who I just basically met, WHO THEN kicked me out and threatened to call the police on me if I didn't leave the exact way she wanted me to, having to leave my job and move back to the middle of nowhere, just for my other sister to take her side and I haven't spoken to since, my mother immediately gets remarried to a man who drinks and cheats on her and hits her and I have to be the one to physically pull them apart and call the police on him REPEATEDLY, oh and did I mention one of my last memories with my father was also?? Fighting him to the ground to protect my mother??? And I Don't get to see my two other sisters either bc they moved to California and I don't get to have a job soon bc the new one I got is only seasonal AND THAT'S ONLY BEEN THIS Y E A R. My depression is so bad other than 2 coms I have not drawn anything in over MONTHS, my teeth are rotting huge holes, I doom spiral mid day and have to keep working with a straight face, I have to struggle with thoughts of my mother dying just as spontaneously as my father, I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN ON DISCORD IN MONNTHHSS?? OR AROUND THESE PPL??? AND THEY'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT ME??

ALL THE WHILST, SPRINKLED IN, I GO ONLINE TO RELAX AND I GET TO HEAR THEY'VE YET AGAIN, SAID SOMETHING ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK.

And I don't say any of this to garner sympathy for my situation there's a reason i don't vent like this on this website I just want to paint the clearest picture that I have no slack to cut them from my POV, if I can keep a lid on all that while they get to wig out over anything and everything constantly. I'm over it. You don't get to tell my friend they're a shitty friend to you, so funny enough- only when they wanted to call you out for this. Only bringing up issues you have with them when it's time to deflect and AGAIN not letting them make peace when they're trying.

To all of you, have some maturity and speak out whatever issue you have with me TO ME. And you leave my friends alone because they again are so sweet and anxious kind people and it makes my blood boil having to listen to one cry and the other feel guilty over situations YOU made.

[domiforpresident]

Love to hate you, hate to love you ♡

|| Part 2

Paring: fem!blackreaderxRiriwillams

Summary: You and Riri have to work on an assessment together after school. Riri constantly tried to put up walls when around you, but you were willing to break them down. Though, Eventually she let them down for you.

Word count: 3.4k+

Warnings: slightly mean!riri, cursing, a little Riri angst (broke my heart to write fr)

This is briefly proof read so bare with me if there's any errors

Divider creds: @firefly-graphics

Dialog color coding: Riri, y/n, Maya, Riri’s Girlfriend

Tag list: @oceean @kya-rose @shahanaazsoumah @ririnator (if you wanna be tagged just lmk)

It had been a few weeks since you first encountered Riri. You couldn’t do your daily routine without thinking about her. You thought about her while in the shower and she even haunted you in your sleep. The only two places you thought you could escape the chokehold she had you in, she easily invaded. You barely even knew the girl but she was the only thing on your mind 24/7. Your notion to get back on Riri’s good side was still a priority of yours. You just didn’t know how to put it into motion. Riri had been skipping classes for the past few weeks. When you did see Riri The most interaction you had with her was when she would give you quick glance’s that came to an end as soon as she realized you were looking back. Today you hoped Riri would actually show up to class. You doubted she would though. Regardless, you got ready for the day like you usually do. You did your hair in twists, then did your edges. Next you put on a grey graphic sweater with light brown embroidered words on it, tan cargo pants, and your Jordan 1 dark mocha’s. You grabbed your tote bag and headed out the door, you would’ve eaten breakfast but you were too eager to see if Riri was going to show up to class today.

You were now walking down the halls headed to your class. You saw Riri’s girlfriend while turning a corner. This wasn’t anything new though you saw her quite often. But this time something was different, she looked worried, and she was coming your way. For god knows what you thought, maybe she had somehow found out you were plotting on her Girlfriend. Maybe she wanted to compliment your outfit, whatever it was you were anxiously anticipating what she was about to say to you.

“Hey y/n i was just wondering have you seen Riri” she muttered out fighting tears.

You thought to yourself how does she know my name if I’ve never spoken to her. In that moment though, the only thing you genuinely cared about was Riri’s well being.

“No, I haven't seen her yet, is she ok?” you asked.

“Yes she’s fine it’s just- never mind. If you do see her, let her know I just wanna talk to her.” Riri’s Girlfriend said while choking on her words a little as she walked away.

You remained standing there for a few seconds trying to brainstorm on what could’ve possibly happened as to where, Riri's Girlfriend would be fighting tears and asking where Riri was at. As well as why out of all people did she decide to ask you. At the end of the day It wasn’t your relationship issues, and even though she did tell you to let her know if you saw Riri you didn’t plan on doing so. You wanted a few moments with Riri to yourself. She would probably see Riri later on in the day anyway so you wouldn’t be hurting anyone by withholding that information you thought. you still needed to get to class so you headed down the halls once more.

Finally you had reached your destination, Now you were about to find out if Riri had skipped class again or if she was sitting in her designated seat right behind you. To your surprise there she was sitting down with air pods in. Riri had gotten her hair done in cornrows going straight back. She had on a black and white flannel, a white crop top that compressed to her body and revealed her abs, along with some baggy blue jeans that sat right on her waistline and a pair of black and white Jordan 4’s. You immediately perked up now knowing that she came to class today. You thought to yourself maybe today would be the day you could finally put your plan into motion.

You walked through the door with a big smile on your face and slid into your seat. The class was kind of chatty because your professor had stepped out for a second. You saw that as an opportunity to speak Riri and you took it.

“Hey Riri” you said with a small smile.

Riri ignored you. You thought it was because she couldn’t hear you over whatever she was listening to so you knocked on her desk. Lightly enough not to startle her but aggressive enough to get her attention.

"Huh?” Riri said as she took one of her air pods out her ear.

“Hey Riri” you said again with the same small smile in a sweet tone.

“What do you want that’s so important, that you had to interpret my music” Riri bluntly questioned.

“Well we do sit next to each other Riri, and you fr wanna go the whole year being rude to the person you’re sitting right behind??” you sighed out.

“So you didn’t have shit important to tell me. Made me cut off my music for nothing” Riri spat out at you.

“You should at least try to hold a normal conversation with me Riri, I’m gonna be here for the rest of the year. It wouldn’t hurt you to make a friend.” You said, trying your best to convince Riri to talk to you.

“and you should try to get off my-“

Before Riri could finish her sentence your professor walked in. She was still looking at you though. Instead of a look of irritation, She was looking into your eyes With that treacherous smirk on her face. At this point you couldn’t tell if Riri loved or hated you. She was so evil to you every time you and her talked and acted as if she hated you. But that smirk, her god awful Smirk said otherwise.

Your stomach was doing backflips and you felt yourself starting to blush. If you held eye contact with Riri any longer you knew you would say something to embarrass yourself so you turned around in your seat before you could. Riri let out a low chuckle. You were probably the only person who heard it. You thought her smirk was bad. But her laugh was worse, it made you feel like you were about to melt. It was so light and airy but so attractive at the same time.

“Ok guys we’re gonna be working on a project for the next few days, and you will be pairing up with your neighbors.”

Your professor then went on to further explain the assessment to the class. You were attentively listening, hoping to distract yourself from the way Riri made you feel. You knew that you liked Riri a lot, but nobody had ever made you flustered. It’s as if she knew ever button of yours to push. Riri got on your nerves, all while making you get butterflies in the same instance.

It was the end of class now and you needed to know where you and Riri were going to study. You turned around to face Riri again.

“So Riri…do you wanna study in my dorm or yours??” you asked her.

“My dorm. I don’t know what you got going on at yours.” Riri muttered the last part a little as if what she said had some underlying meaning.

“Well you’re gonna have to give me your number Riri, so i know what time to come over.” You explained.

“I don’t have to do anything. Maybe you should just read my mind and figure out when I’ll be ready to study ma.” She said mockingly as she threw that nick name at you again.

You found it corny coming from anyone else, but when Riri’s Chicago accent laced it, it sounded so smooth. However You were a soldier and you weren’t going to let Riri watch you fold that easily. Not yet.

“Riri I’m being serious” You picked up your phone. “put your number in my phone so i can text you when I’m on the way, and you can give me instructions to your dorm.” You spoke sternly trying to get your point across, and stand your ground.

“Hand me the phone y/n” Riri said as she rolled her eyes.

You handed her the phone and she put her number in it, then handed it back to you.

“Don’t try to come over after 10 though, My girlfriend is supposed to be coming over.” Riri said in a timid and exhausted tone.

You wanted to ask if she was ok, but you didn’t want to pry at her relationship problems, and risk the friendship with her that was slowly forming.

“Ok Riri that works for me, all i know is you better open the door when i get there.” You joked with Riri because you knew how rude she could be sometimes.

“I should keep yo ass locked out just for saying that” she joked back. In that low giggle that drove you insane.

“I’ll see you later Riri.” You laughed while walking out the door. Now walking in the hall’s, all you could picture was Riri’s low giggle, and how it danced off her tongue so smoothly.

You just made it back to your dorm. It was the end of the day now, all your classes were over. To your pleasant surprise, your best friend was there sitting on one of the beanbag chairs y’all had in the corner of your dorm. It’s been a while since you got a moment to talk to your bestie after she started spending the night over her boyfriend's apartment regularly. You needed a moment to catch up with her. So you dropped your tote bag on your bed and plopped down in the beanbag chair right next to her.

“Hey y/n, girl i was just about to text you and let you know i was here. I feel like we haven’t talked in forever.” Maya said while reminiscing on the conversation’s that you and her used to have.

“Maya so much has happened the past couple of weeks.” You began to explain. “You didn’t lie Riri’s lil butt is mean. I think that's one of the reasons why I like her.”

“You think you like Riri?? Need i remind you she has a gf." Maya tried warning you once again.

“I don’t think I know I like her. She’s literally all I think about, even if I wanted to stop thinking about her, I couldn't.” You tried to clarify.

“Well are you gonna shoot your shot or what? If you like her as much as you say you do, act on it girl.”your best friend tried to encourage you.

“Well it’s not that easy maya, I’m trying to build somewhat of a friendship with Riri. especially when thinking about the fact that the first time she spoke to me, she was yelling at me for scuffing her shoes.” You covered you face with your hand and blushed while saying the last part.

“You scuffed her shoes??” Maya couldn’t help but laugh.

“It wasn’t on purpose.” You blushed while laughing.

“Aww you really do like Riri huh??” Maya asked.

“I really do maya, and tonight I’m going to Riri’s dorm to work on an assessment with her.” You stated while smiling.

Your mind had now gone to the idea of being closer to Riri than what you usually were. You and her would possibly be inches apart, maybe even less than that. Riri was Making you nervous and she wasn’t even present.

Maya then got up from her bean bag chair. “Well good luck y/n I’ll talk to you later, and you better tell me how it goes with Riri.” Maya demanded in a playful manner.

Maya was now gone, probably at her boyfriends apartment. You were getting ready to go study at Riri’s dorm. You freshened up and took your hair out of the twist you put them in earlier today, and let your long thick 4-c hair fall to the middle of your back in a twist out. You now had on a white tank top, black sweatpants and your black converse. You texted Riri and let her know you were on the way to her dorm. When she texted you the directions, to your shock Riri lived right down the hall from you. So why hadn’t you seen her even if she wasn’t going to class? You had to save your thoughts for later though because now you were at Riri’s door. you knocked and she opened it.

“Hey Riri” you said while smiling. You were excited to see her and overjoyed that she opened the door the first time you knocked.

She had changed out of the clothes she had on in class and changed into a black wife beater, and black sweat shorts.

There was a moment of silence. She hit you with her extreme, and intoxicating eye contact again.

“So yo ass just gon stand outside all night, or you gon come in?” Riri grinned while giving you space to walk through the door.

You walked in her dorm. You would be lying to yourself if you said you thought Riri was going to properly invite you in. she welcomed you into her dorm without something extremely snarky to say. In your eyes that was progress.

“You can sit on the bed, I already started working, if you need help on anything I can explain it to you.” Riri told you.

For the first time Riri didn’t have something snarky to say to you. She genuinely wanted to get her work done. It’s not like she was in a rush though. When you sat down on her bed you saw she was practically done with the assessment. So why did she still invite you over, you thought to yourself.

Riri walked over to her bed and sat down right across from you, you and her notes were the only thing separating y’all. As you and Riri got to work you realized that you both work very well together, when she’s not trying to be rude to you.

An hour had passed, you and Riri were finishing your assessment, along the way you and her cracked a few joke's. As you and her were laughing a knock came from the outside of Riri’s door.

“Hold on y/n let me see who it is” Riri said as she looked at the door confused.

“Alright, don’t take too long though I’m starting to get sleepy, and we need to finish up.” You said as you smiled at Riri as she walked to the door.

You couldn’t help but be nosy and try to see who was knocking on Riri’s door at this time of night. It was a man. Specifically a white man. What the hell was a white man doing outside of Riri’s dorm room, especially at night!? You thought to yourself.

“I thought I told you not to come to my door anymore. If you want something done you gotta go to the website.” Riri said in an irritated voice.

Before the white boy could say anything else she slammed the door on his face. You couldn’t help yourself at this point you had to ask Riri what that was about.

“Who was that, your friend or something??” You asked.

“Nah just a customer” she put air quotations around the word customer, so now you were even more confused.

“Customer for what??” You asked once more.

“You came here to study, not be all up in my business” She argued.

“Oh come on Riri, we been playing and laughing this whole time. Now you wanna be rude again??” You rebutted.

You saw Riri break a little in that moment, she semi let down her walls for you.

“So basically…” Riri began. “I do people’s assignments and assessments, for a price of course. I make pretty good money off of it too.” She explained. “I figured, the work is mad easy for me so while I’m here i might as well get something out of it.” She added.

“No I get that, especially when thinking about the fact that you’re a black queer woman operating in a mainly white space, it wouldn’t hurt to have some extra money on the side.” you agreed.

“Exactly, these white people lucky to have me, not the other way around.” Riri proclaimed.

“Don’t say that too loud, they might hear you and come to get you, because god forbid a black woman have confidence in her intelligence.” You joked.

Riri was starting to blush. You were validating her experiences which no one had ever done for her before. It was definitely a sight you could, and planned to get used to.

“I’m glad you invited me over Riri, it was nice studying with you.” You said as you packed up your things.

“I guess it wasn’t unbearable to study with you either y/n.” She said with a subtle smile on her face.

Riri wasn’t smirking at you, she was actually smiling at you?? you managed to make Riri smile.

“Good night Riri” you smiled back while rolling your eyes and walking out her door.

You had made real progress with Riri today, you actually made her smile. Not only was she smiling but she was smiling at you. The sight melted your heart.

You were back at your dorm now, you Changed out of your sweatpants, and into some pajama shorts. As You were laying down in your bed drifting off to sleep, you got an unexpected text from Riri.

"Can I come over? I know it's late but I really need someone to talk to."

"Yeah of course Riri" you texted her back. If anyone else asked your immediate answer would've been no, but with Riri it was different.

You didn’t know what to expect when Riri got to your dorm. It was late as hell. What could Riri possibly want to talk about?

It had been 5 minutes since Riri texted you and you heard a knock at your door. When you opened it, to your shock Riri’s eyes were puffy and red. She had tears falling down her cheeks. You instinctively pulled Riri into a hug.

"Oh my God Riri what the hell happened." You asked in a concerned tone as you walked Riri over to your bed.

"Um- my…my girlfriend came over and we started arguing really bad, it got mad heated." Riri whispered as she barely got her words out.

"Riri calm down, take your time." You soothed her while rubbing her back.

"Whenever we're arguing she takes the lowest blows at me, and I don't know what I did or do to-"

You immediately cut Riri off.

"Riri, she's supposed to be your significant other, the person that's your peace. If she's going out of her way to make you feel bad about yourself then that's not your fault. Don't ever think it is." You said wholeheartedly.

All Riri could do was slightly smile at you. The real reason she chose to come to your dorm is because she knew that you would validate her feelings about the situation. With the short time shes known you she took note that you valued how she felt, and You genuinely cared about her.

"I really do appreciate that y/n." Riri said as she embraced you in a hug.

"It's the truth Riri, you should be with someone who respects you and doesn't make you feel this way." You told Riri.

"Y/n do you mind if I stay here for the night, I don't want to deal with her ass anymore for now." Riri asked.

You took Riris cheek into your hand and rubbed it gently.

"Of course you can my love" You lightly giggled as you answered.

Riri had eventually calmed down after talking for a little bit longer. When you and her laid down She nuzzled her head under your chin and sat it on your chest. You didn't position Riri to do it, she just did it. You could've sat there forever just soaking in the moment, you were on cloud 9. You couldn't understand why Riri decided to texted you and only you in her time of need but she did. She found security in you.

The next morning Riri was gone. She sent you a text before she left that read,

"I genuinely appreciate what you did for me last night y/n."

As you read it You were still high off the fact that Riri was nuzzled up under you. It was the next day but your heart was still racing a little. Riri made you feel a way no one else could. Whenever you thought about her you cheesed so hard your face started to hurt. Today's challenge was figuring out what last night Meant for you and Riri’s relationship. She had a girlfriend but it was extremely obvious that their relationship wasn't healthy. You also weren't too fond of the idea of being a rebound. You cared for Riri too much for your own good and You needed her like oxygen.

It broke my heart having to hurt Riri a little, but I hope yall enjoyed 😭💙, also this is gonna be a mini series so probably like 4 or 5 parts it really depends.

[betaphannie]

Thoughts about the latest video essay about the phandom

This is more about how Certain People have spoken about the phandom, but that video really showed many of the gripes I have with people talking about the phandom.

rant/thoughts under the cut

One thing I notice a lot of people when talking about the phandom's past never mention is the existence of antis (If you aren't aware, back in the day before dnp came out there were a plethora of people who insisted that dnp were straight, not dating, and shipping them was violating their privacy. These people were members of the phandom deemed "antis."). Imo, antis were just as loud as demons, and honestly being in the phandom at that point usually meant that any kind of belief that dnp were queer and/or dating was met with pushback from antis. Like all the time.

I find this exclusion of any mention of them in these video essays and retrospectives odd, especially since people tend to treat the entire phandom as demons that were running around and analyzing/shipping dnp "without any moderation" (to quote the latest video essay), when that moderation often came from within in the phandom itself. I can't speak for earlier eras of the phandom, but when I joined in 2016, you could not avoid seeing phandom "rules" outlining when it was inappropriate to to tag dnp, what should not be talked about in detail within the phandom, what should not be sent in the chat during live shows etc. Between the phandom's own rules and antis sending out death threats at the smallest speculation, the phandom was in a constant state of tension from policing themselves. It was not a free-for-all wild west that people tend to view it as.

Also, for at least the era that I joined, the phandom was very aware of the reputation they had online. I knew of this reputation myself before I had joined, which was part of the reason I avoided watching dnp for a couple of years before caving. There were constant videos and posts being made to hate on the phandom. Dnp was a fandom that people associated with teenage girls, and as we all know there is nothing the internet hates more than teen girls. And these girls were also often emos, which was to say that they were especially hated and viewed as "cringe." I think that all the years of phannies trying to distance themselves from those stereotypes led to this overall feeling of Shame for being in the phandom. You felt like you had to constantly prove you weren't one of the Bad Ones, regardless on your actual opinions on dnp's relationship.

It's also weird to me how people discussing the phandom seem to act as though RPF and speculation surrounding real-life people's relationship is a novel concept and dnp are the only case of this occuring. It wasn't considered Super Cringe when normies tried to figure out if Tom Holland and Zendaya had a thing for each other, but getting invested in the lives of two people who literally made it their career to share their lives with the internet is somehow outlandish. I'm not saying it's good to be overly invested in a stranger's life even if they are sharing parts of themselves online, but this behavior wasn't exactly unique in the phandom, and yet the phandom always gets the brute end of parasocial relantionship critisms, even though dnp themselves talk about how much they treasure the relationship they have with their audience.

I think the phandom is a very interesting fandom with interesting history, structures, and lore. However, it is constantly reduced the shipping/speculation from demons and nothing else, which honestly to me seems to come from the fact that there is an urge within people not in a group to feel better and more intelligent than the people inside that group and a refusal to want to actually understand that group. The behaviour from antis and people "caught in the middle" is just as important to understanding its history and why the people currently in the phandom act the way they do, but that doesn't make a video where you can laugh at The Weirdos for liking something too much. Also, despite the fact that people love to criticize the phandom because they believe all the phandom cares about is dnp's relationship, those same people love focusing entirely on that themselves.

[byghostface]

Look I dunno what this Daminika shipping drama is all about. (I followed you because I like your Rayllum art).

but it's not a cool thing to do to share stuff calling Jon Kent/ Damian Wayne ship "pedophilic yaoi". sounds homophobic.

We should only call the actual crime of pedophilia that and not use the word like a petty insult. Also all this rage gave me the impression that Jon/Damian was like a super twisted ship or something but I googled it and they are 17 and 13 y.o. which would be weird irl yes but that's still literally not pedophilia. they are both teens and people draw them looking the same age in fan art anyway.

If you are not in the dc fandom then maybe don't speak on something you think you know.

But it's not a cool thing to do to share stuff calling Jon Kent/ Damian Wayne ship "pedophilic yaoi". sounds homophobic.

Damian and Jon always have 3 years age gap, even before dc age up Jon, they are like 13 and 10, And after age up(Jon is stuck in space had lived through years and is back on earth) they are now 14 and 17. In most of the fan art, you see people who draw them looking the same age pre-age up, because Damian is really short at 13. And people started to ship them when Jon is 10 year old child. You don't date a child when you're a teen, or date a 14 year old teen and being a college student, that is weird.

In the current comic Jon Kent has a boyfriend-Jay Nakamura(Gossamer) whom he met in college and still happily dating.( then there are racist thing ppl would said about Jay on twitter just bc he is a Japanese character and the other shipper use that to attack him too bc they doesn't like Jayjon as a ship )

-[Action Comics v1 1059 (2024)]-Artist: Marguerite Sauvage-

As an asexual, I mostly headcanon Nika and Damian as nonbinary and asexual. And a lot of the ppl who like Daminika see them as trans for trans too.

You said you followed me for my rayllum art. So you don’t know what the characters I’m talking about, have been drawing about in dc fandom. In my previous vent post is referring to the weird age gap ship, and the maturity of different ages and mentalities when characters are being ship together. And that ship's shippers + incest proshippers are being misogyny towards Nika relentlessly. It's not about against mlm ship, or being homophobic like you claimed.

Maybe you are young and see the fanart and can't think clearly what the issue is. That I can understand, because a few years ago(when I was young and dumb!! and didn't/unable to use my brain to think clearly!!!) I used to think the weird age gap was nothing but now I'm looking back and regret the weird ship I used to ship and draw (Toph and Sokka), I don't ship them anymore + Suki x Sokka superior!!

I have deleted some of Toph and Sokka art and the remaining ones have changed titles and tags to platonic sense. I didn't delete them all because they are still part of my (dumb and reckless!!!) art journey and the things that I'm now getting over and will not ever draw as a ship again.

Which would be weird irl yes but that's still literally not pedophilia.

You admit that would be weird irl and yet tired to dismiss me when I express my uncomfortableness and wanting those ppl to leave the characters(Nika & Respawn) I care about alone. If you are the type of proshipper that says fictional doesn't affect reality… then stop talking to me + invalid opinions‼️ (don't affect reality?? Of course it is! You are a person in reality who argues with me about fiction and conception/representation that affect all of us)

Like I said in my vent post, I never want to interact with them and I don't go into their page or cross ship tags and comments on things or anything related to their ships before. And this is the first time I have spoken up and tried to defend Nika here on Tumblr. Because I'm the only one constantly making contents about her and love her as a character and the only person here on Tumblr who wants to talk about/express my love for her through my art for nearly three years.

And I can't speak up when they want to tools Nika and Respawn for their own ships and set them up as toxic made up characters in their head?!? And I should let that kind of blunt lies disguise as "playful! fun even!!" fanon and let it slip and damage Nika and Respawn's character!?!?? And let that MISOGYNY energy towards Nika fly into fanfic further misconception both of their character and personalities?!??? Similar things that had happened to Talia being constantly demonized through racism and misogyny by fanon?!?!?? A reappear theme by shipper/yaoi incest proshipper tools her as a bad Asian mom to make a sad and twisted background for Damian to need to be protected by the characters they ship him with?!??

Not all of the shippers/fic writers do this but still, I'm meant by the misconception fanons that spin out of control… then SOMETIMES THE ACTUAL COMICS WRITES(different ones/weird ones) WOULD MAKE IT CANON AND DAMAGE THE CHARACTERS‼️IT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE‼️‼️

I know the shippers and the fandom will always be there because of the internet. And I can't control it, so I set up boundaries now by speaking up and defend my favorite characters while I still can.

You can comment under this post if you still disagree with me(unless you're a proshipper then stop interacting with me‼️), and don't hide behind anonymity before you understand what I'm talking about and don't twist my words for your own comfort.

(Again, sorry if you are not in the dc fandom and catching strays of my discomfort and anger. But I love Nika too much so I had to speak in my page)

[templegate]

Why ate you brainrotting me into a ship that dosen't doesn't exist nooooooooo

Imposter×izuru my beloved

YEAH. I AGREE. Here I'll talk more about it and drag you deeper into the hole

I feel like im despair Izuru hated the Imposter because they had become a perfect imitator. Any of their actual personality being suppressed for the sake of imitation. Like a sort of Ego Death. Izuru hated it because it was too reminiscent of himself. But after the NWP I think they begin to bond.

I mean this is all headcanon-

but I always saw Izuru as a pretty subservient being. I mean the Hope's Peak people probably wanted a good amount of control over him. So he's not really an active person. Needing someone to point him in whatever direction.

Contrasted with the Imposter who is naturally a leader. They care a whole lot about people because they're so good at reading people. And despite their feeling that they lack an identity, they still have aspects that shine through.

Izuru is supposed to be a new personality. A metamorphosis after Hajime Hinata had been completely erased. But Izuru cannot seem to form an identity. Think about it. He never really has anything he cares about, people he cares about, likes or dislikes. Even his constant stating that hes bored is just a statement of fact. Not really said with any malice

While the Imposter is supposed to be nothing. Supposed to be someone who can become anything. And despite it. They have so much personality. They care about people, have a pension for leadership, love food and love their body. This isn't a person with no personality.

So they both fucked up what they were supposed to do. A person meant to be a void cares, and the person meant to care is a void.

That might be a source of jealousy between the two. It might not. But they're kind of polar opposites. The Imposter's understanding of people leads to them caring more for them. Willing to sacrifice themselves to save someone who they knew was dangerous. While Izuru understands people on such a deep level that he finds them boring. Disliking most people he interacts with and being generally apathetic. Being perfectly willing to sacrifice people around him.

And I think after the NWP, The Imposter starts to come into their own, since constantly pretending to be someone else is terrible for your mental health. They're not used to it at all. They take up a leadership role and kind of have a workaholic duo with Hajime and Izuru. Maybe the imposter also has a better time dealing with the Despair version of themself. Since they already are pretty good at compartmentalizing their identity.

While Izuru- I've spoken before how I think the return of Hajime Hinata to his headspace causes Izuru to like... Be able to be someone. Since the parts of his brain that were suppressed to destroy Hajime are reactivated- suddenly Izuru is like... Capable of feeling and caring for people, and having opinions and a personality. And i see them as a system too. So now Izuru is feeling all these things- is super overwhelmed and can't interpret any of them. And his headmate is there too and his emotions are even stronger.

And i imagine that Izuru has only one person who can possibly understand what it's like- The Imposter. So they have weird conversations with 12 layers of context and subterfuge. And then maybe they kiss as well.

It's literally because they are such great foils to eachother too. Like i wish it was brought up in canon cause they're sooooo similar and yet so different.

[gumbaigumbai]

Durgetash hcs involving my Durge; What if it's not love but some fucked up thing that's the closest they can plausibly get to the word. Would Moloch kill for him? Yes. Would they ever whisper sweet words to each other? Never sincerely, but they both understand that and gain amusement from going through the motions of what they believe love is "supposed to be like".

A factor that plays into it is they both enjoy being hurt and hurting back, though this doesn't have to inherently be sexual. I like to imagine Gortash enjoys how Moloch can get into the grit of murder but remain elegant while doing it, as if it's her personal art. Up until their meeting, killing to him was something he only did out of necessity (at first to survive but afterward to climb up the social latter), though he saw appeal in how they performed their sacrifices for Bhaal. And considering he's Bane's chosen I think he gets a kick out of how they should be enemies (and how it's way more enforced by Bhaal than Bane) yet he's the only force able to sway Moloch from her father's control. Meanwhile in Moloch's corner she enjoys having someone that gets close to being her equal (never sees him as truly on her level but he thinks they are). Feels constant dishonor for disappointing Bhaal by indulging both the Banite and herself but doesn't try to fix it. Takes it out on herself and doesn't blame Gortash, not out of respect for him but because it would be shameful to her if he was deterring her by himself. Enjoys his presence and intelligence, they're impressed by how he was able to bring himself up in the world. During meetings (before they "got together" -- it was never officially declared the boundary was simply crossed one day) she sits next to him but only silently observes. Likes to examine how both he and the people he's talking with operate, picking up on subtle changes in attitudes. After they do get together they worry less about intricacies of meetings, if it's with someone Gortash is above of in the hierarchy Moloch's allowed to sit on his lap while they wait for the yap session to end. During this they like examining the details of their clothes, as they're often gifted new ones by him due to only wearing white and constantly being stained by blood and in need of replacements (had a lot in mind regarding clothes actually but I'll explain it in a Moloch exclusive post). Intimacy, aside from sex, is in form of acts of comfort and is never verbally expressed. Gortash helps them bathe, they like running their claws through his hair. He gives them clothes and fancy meals, they let him watch their fresh wounds heal and inflict new ones. What's spoken is desire for more; she explains how they will be the only two remaining before their inevitable end, he tells her his grandiose plans of achieving tyranny. "Sweet" whispers are only violent thoughts expressed out loud, how she wishes to peel his arms and his eagerness hid by nonchalance. They're aware of his mortality however and never truly get to act out their promises, which is in part why Gortash enjoys them as well, they definitely do hurt him but it's never fatal or irreparable. Anyway that's all I have for now thank you for reading if anyone actually did so !! I know I wrote a lot and it's all very self-indulgent >_<

[confess-ledzeppelin]

I might be stepping into a controversial domain right now, but I think I'm going to explode if I read one more BS post praising Hammer of the Gods. That book (along Cole's book and the others that used Cole as a source) is so horrendous that I can't even begin to fathom why anyone would ever believe it or take it seriously.

On the one hand, I somewhat understand. Rockstars aren't exactly known for being decent people, so why would these guys be an exception? Why wouldn't they be just as bad? But I would like to think that people who call themselves fans would know better than that. Were the four of them perfect? Hell no. But they were absolutely not the gross, dubious people those books make them appear to be. Every word in those books was meant to make them look like the worst people, and people just believe it. They even think some of the false things written about them are funny.

We've all seen the interviews, and we know what others who know them have said about them. No one else seems to have anything negative to say except Richard Cole and the people who write whatever he says is true. Cole said the things that he did for drug money, and he has certainly never been a reliable source. Yet for some reason, everyone just automatically believes everything he says. It's always quoted and referred to in most articles, YouTube videos, etc.

I'm sure the band must love living with the fact that people judge them and even hate them based off of several series' of events that never took place and words that were never spoken. I'm sure Bonham would love to see all of the horrible things said about him after he was dead and no longer able to defend himself. If those things were really true, why did Cole wait so long to "blow the whistle"? I wonder how their families must feel about people thinking their father/brother/etc. is someone completely opposite of who he actually is.

As I said, they are not perfect. They have made mistakes just like everyone else. But they are certainly not the people those books made them appear to be. Those books were not "exposing them" or "calling them out on their debauchery", they were meant to harm the reputation of four good, family men who really just wanted to mind their own fkn business and wanted everyone else to do the same.

And no, this isn't just me defending celebrities I like. I don't even like them all that much, they aren't really my type. But right is right and wrong is wrong, and the utter slander against them by a mentally ill drug addict is absolutely wrong. Even worse are the people who constantly rattle on and on about how amazing it is.

So this veers a bit too close to fandom criticism for my tastes, but I'll share it because the major grievance is with Richard Cole and Hammer of the Gods, with the fans who take it seriously only being a secondary consideration. Generally, though, please avoid critical language toward Zep fans/fandom in confessions. Thanks!

[editblr-confessions]

https://www.tumblr.com/editblr-confessions/769504314859388928/hey-chat-being-pro-endo-and-supporting-endo?source=share <- is so funny

"im a diagnosed system!!!! im diagnosed!!!! this hurts me so badly!!!!" okay. how? let's go through it.

endos remain largely online and don't tell people about their alters offline, so it can't be that they're making a mockery of us to the public. even then, the public usually sees us as freaks who are faking regardless, so it doesn't matter if they start talking about alters to people.

if an endo does go to a psychiatrist/therapist about the issue, good cool awesome whatever. they're trained, i would know since im training to become one, and if said endos symptoms don't match to the extent of any dissociative disorder they won't be treated for it. but even then, dissociative disorders would not be the first thing a psychiatrist/therapist looks at, even if they're told straightforward that a patient believes they have alters. and if this endo truly does not have did/osdd, then they will turn down the option to be diagnosed with it regardless—if they do not do this, and they walk out of that clinic/hospital etc. with a diagnosis, it means that multiple professionals and specialists have spoken one on one with that individual and decided their symptoms line up to such an extent that they should have a diagnosis.

"i suffer daily" so do i. i have been writing down things about my system for close to a decade, collecting all the information i can in an attempt to get by in life. i am chronically ill, and oftentimes cannot even get out of bed. i have gone through multiple suicide attempts because of my system and what it holds, and yet i have never once abandoned my empathy towards endos because that is incredibly counterproductive.

look at the ages of these people. the rise of did/osdd happened in 2020, slowing at the end of 2022, so it's safe to assume that if these people are faking then they've been faking for a good while now. do you know what sociogenic illness is? these people, usually aged 13-19, will hold symptoms of being a system if not because they are one then because they're constantly in a community where everyone has visible symptoms. granted, these symptoms would be easier to treat and less impactful than those seen in cdds, but do you think it's fair to sit and scream about how the symptoms impact you worse than them?

once again, the ages of endos comes into play. 13-19, usually without jobs and in some form of student debt. they cannot steal resources (common anti-endo argument) because they do not have the money to do so. one specialist appointment is typically somewhere between $80-140 depending on the area you're from, and while yes you can get it lowered through a bunch of different means, the most you'll likely ever be able to get it lowered to is $30 per session, and it takes multiple sessions a month over months and/or years to achieve a diagnosis. do you know how much that is? that is a borderline impossible amount for most people in general to pull out of nowhere, let alone for random teenagers who can only find comfort in these forms of communities because their real lives have gone to hell. by the way, did i mention these people are trained, and wouldn't take endos seriously in an office unless there was actually something to take seriously?

i don't really care if you're anti endo, hell i identify more with anti-endos than pro-endos, but let's not pretend this is still a mass consciously faking situation, because it shouldn't be anymore. "all endos are faking" should never have been a valid talking point in the first place, because it stems not from actual genuine insight, but instead from heavy paranoia and a need to defend something important (systems remaining solely cdd-related) at all costs. and in some parts, that's fine, i understand it myself, but chasing after endos over stuff that will likely not impact any of us in any form of near future will not get anything done except continue to brew a disgusting concoction of hatred and disgust for anyone who isn't exactly like you.

you do not need to get along with endos, you do not need to even interact with them. but you do need to watch what you say online (not directly @ you anon, but to the wider system community in general) because these things will eventually wrap back around to strangle you.

anyway, all this to say.. once again.. this topic is incredibly nuanced and acting like endogenic = fake, traumagenic = real 24/7 is incredibly stupid and i hate syscourse and it should have no place on editblr.

(same anon as https://www.tumblr.com/editblr-confessions/769425329754423296/getting-really-sick-of-editblr-syscourse-drama-bc?source=share, could i get the 🖍️ anon tag if it isn't taken ?! p.s sorry for how long this is i didn't realise oops)

crayon you are incredibly based.

[link to og post]

[skittlewaffle]

Different Flavors of Daycare Attendants (WIP maybe ??)

PLEASE NOTE that I do not read fics a lot and certainly don’t know everything. These are just general headcanons about the Daycare Attendant placed into categories! Personally my view is a mix of a good handful of every category

But yes this was all made for fun because I have brainrot. I’ll keep adding to this post or make a part two if this is something people enjoy, and I’m happy to accept any help! I know there are plenty more headcanons that I don’t have under categories yet.

… Some sections were rushed because I just wanted to post this before Ruin comes out and the Biblically Accurate section gets muddled.. haha. JUST,, enjoy !!!

Canon

Sun

Unhinged

Potentially partially virused, though it’s generally assumed not

Theatrical antics

Probably overdramatic on purpose / playing his theater role but in a child care setting

LIGHTS ON!!

Overbearing, offputting, and loud

Stickler for rules and cleanliness

Keeps daycare clean and organized, but not himself or his room

Might not be restricted to daycare out of frame, but implications are present that he may be lonely

It’s unclear if he and Moon have a connection in their headspace, but it is sometimes assumed they don’t

Probably unaware of Moon’s virused state

Moon

Silly gremlin

Fully virused

Theatrical antics amplified; evil stage persona is more literal

Naptime protocol amplified; what feels to him like putting people to sleep is actually killing people

Childcare and entertainment programming still seems functional

Creepy

Loves to stalk, dance, and play pretend

Shares Sun’s obsession with rules and cleanup

Strong enough to knock out a Glamrock

Seems quite lightweight

Sounds like he has a built-in, broken music box ??

* HEADCANON: Has a different mode meant to reflect the gentler character he appears to be in the Moondrop candy advertisements, instead of his theater villain role

Anxious boys

Sun

Restricted to daycare, refuses to take even a single step out

Doesn’t know what he’s doing

Scares or hurts the kids on accident, proceeds to freak out over it

Weak to compliments and praise; he just wants to do a good job

Needs affirmation, stat

Will 100% fall in love with anyone who is consistently nice to him

Acts like a kicked puppy when spoken to sternly, lectured, or yelled at

Lets people walk all over him

Constant fidgeting

Stutters a lot

Stressed OUT

Constantly at his breaking point; help him

Moon

Self-conscious about his naturally creepy looks and mannerisms

Bad first impressions

Often keeps a distance, watching from afar

Uses few words

Wishes to be liked

A kid likes him? His child now.

Sad to see them go :(

Rather graceful, slow movements that give him eerie vibes

Tends to word things in ways that sound like red flags (like offering candy in a shady area), but doesn’t quite realize it

False reputation amongst patrons

Many complaints from parents for his bad vibes

Heavily misjudged; really means no harm

Wet napkin

Likes to dance on his wire; keeps him busy when he can’t socialize

Will perform many tricks for people who do become his friend

Never forgets anyone who is kind to him in even one instance

Confident boys / high experience DCA

Sun

Practically built for childcare; knows what to do in pretty much every situation

Loved by all the children

Social towards everyone, no matter how stubborn or closed off they may be

Manages to put a smile on all faces

Really not afraid of drawing attention or being embarrassing if it means making a child happy

Always knows just what to say

Very helpful to new employees

Might step outside the Daycare from time to time

Reads faces very well, in adults and children

Capable of disobeying protocols for more serious reasons

MUCH more observant than you think

Roasts Karens lol

Moon

Is both the Naptime Attendant and a nighttime security bot

Many children want to cuddle with him during nap time

Has a ton of patience

Especially loves getting to hold babies

Very protective of the little ones

The most feared security in the entire Pizzaplex

Takes his job as security bot very seriously; loves his job as a childcare worker

High Tech

DCA has many upgrades

Still very versatile and could be upgraded more

AI advanced enough to be considered eligible for human rights

Movements, speech, and feelings are very realistic, almost not robotic at all

Can experience human senses (smell, touch, etc.)

Softer casing to simulate a more human feel

Can blush and cry tears, but not bleed (unless it’s oil in their machinery)

Feels pain and temperature, and is ticklish

Can get overstimulated and feel disgust at certain textures

Has certain mannerisms that could classify them under certain diagnosable human conditions or mental disorders (which they technically aren’t; the diagnoses are worded for us humans to better understand and relate to)

Cannot get sick and doesn’t need to eat or breathe, but can pretend to

Has eyelids, lips, tongue, and movable facial features to emote better

Acts sleepy or drunk when low on battery, and genuinely feels like that

Has a simulated heartbeat and breathing

Waterproof

Multipurpose

Perfectly capable of obtaining a PHD

Seems to have built-in tools for almost anything, mostly for human health and first aid purposes

Might need some recovery time after P&S visits, similar to pain after human surgery (tight screws, rearranged wires, etc)

More capable of fighting viruses and defending themself and others

Low Tech

Basically a stereotypical cartoon robot

Still sentient and can learn, but still operates mostly on programming

Still have the basic qualities of Sun and Moon’s original personalities (cheery and loud; calm and quiet)

States what they’re doing out loud (processing, downloading, initiating protocol, etc.)

States warnings and errors out loud (low battery, update failed, null object reference, ERROR!!)

Static smile

Uses prerecorded lines often; new lines sometimes sound broken like AI or TTS

Might not understand certain topics

Might mishear you

Sometimes treats other everyday machinery like they are alive, mostly holding grudges, fearing them, or being jealous of them

Cares much more about the feelings of others than their own

Less capable of fighting viruses or preventing other unwanted actions towards them

Whores

Aimed towards the more mature side of the fandom

Bastards / smug / absolute sluts (affectionate or derogatory, whatever you feel lol)

Wear suits, ties, suspenders… fancy stuff

Shirts are often only partially buttoned, ties loose or just draping over

Also may wear feminine clothing, depending on the type of storyline

Can drink and smoke somehow

More laid back and flirtatious

Occasionally / casually threatening

Might have cool hats

Sometimes have guns / some kind of weapon

AWOOGA

Often involves suggestive implications

Call you nicknames you probably love but your Y/N often hates

Plot involving high stakes and serious danger

Simp material

We are attracted to any red flag they may have /hj

Animalistic

Sun

Dog

A big dog who thinks he’s a lap dog

Probably fell in love with you immediately

Separation anxiety / abandonment issues

Loyal; will always wait for you no matter what

Whines if you’re gone for too long :(

Misses you sooo much

Begs a lot

Head tilts

Extremely attentive, affectionate and excitable

Might tackle you

Loves playfighting

Always weak to praise and cuddles

Is a good boy, the best boy

Full of energy; loves to play

Rays fold backwards / retract when guilty, angry, or defensive

More apologetic than really necessary

Would probably be very sorry if you called him bad, even if he did nothing wrong

Easily excited / distracted at particular things or favorite items

Highly possessive of favorite items

Hides his favorite items in random corners of your house

Gets the zoomies (and may or may not accidentally break something from jumping over / running into furniture and stuff)

Very aware of people

Likes to sunbathe

Got muddy and needs a bath .. again

Has stim toys, many of them squeaky

Doesn’t sit on the couch right

Wants to protect you

Loves the outdoors and going for walkies

Always sleeps on your bed / somewhere in the same room

Wakes you with a complete ONSLAUGHT of smooches

Moon

Cat

First meeting was likely him hunting and pouncing at you

Still likes to stalk and prowl for fun / as a game

Likes to rest in elevated places, including the top of your fridge

Loafs

Hisses

Interested in silly / shiny little trinkets

Gremlin; knocks your stuff down on purpose and runs away

Has claws, could be retractable

Eyes dilate / shrink

Might flinch when touched, but still leans into it if he wants the attention

Slinks away from touch when distracted by something else

Likes to fall asleep on you; you can’t move (he is aware of this)

Likes laser pointers and dangly thingies

Enjoys sneaking up on you

Purrs (or has some robotic equivalent of purring, like whirring or broken music box)

Gets 3AM zoomies

Elegant s t r e t c h

Changes from bipedal to quadrupedal when he feels like it

Likes the window

Hates water, but likes to keep clean and tidy

Movements are fluid; he is liquid

Tries to fit into small spaces, twists his animatronic body to do so

Has favorite hiding places

Territorial

Hunts pests in your home if he’s bored.. might even bring them to you

Stares at you. Slow blinks. Affection.

Head bonks while sitting next to you

Lazy / sleepy bitch disease

Prefers to stay inside, but likes to explore occasionally and go for nighttime walkies

Always curls up beside you at night

You wake up to him kneading at you or rubbing his face on you

* DCA may have tails and / or beans

Brothers

Mostly tends to be a separate bodies view

Inseparable either way

Chaotic duo

Quite the opposite in a way they still have a close bond

Lots of playfighting

Sometimes actual fighting

Care a lot for each other, but have a sort of friendly rivalry

Never one without the other

Not afraid of speaking their mind plainly, to their benefit or detriment

Great teamwork on their better days

Immature pouting / silent treatment on their worse days

Do most everything together

Often competitive

Disagreements are most often more comedic than serious

Their fights are childish and silly; you can’t help but laugh

Sometimes complains about who the “big brother” is

Get into the silliest shenanigans; it’s trouble, but endearing all the same as they love having a story of adventure to tell

Know each other better than anyone else can

Look very closely after each other, especially when someone else gets close

Favorite colors are what the other wears most often / is themed after (Sun: blue; Moon: yellow)

Applies to their eye colors, especially if chosen by them for upgrades

While both are very different, both also exhibit certain behaviors that directly parallel / mirror the other

Lovers

(NOT brothers at the same time. Fuck off)

The most wholesome shit you’ve ever seen

Fluff, comfort, cuddles, words of affirmation… the dream

Tons of celestial nicknames, phrases, and metaphors

Very poetic; immerses you in calm, dreamlike scenery, like a storybook

Emotional support partners

Each often doesn’t take care of themself until the other notices and helps them

The cutest little dates (tea parties, art sessions, and sleepovers are common)

Still prone to angst, but has a happy ending

I hope

AUGHH

That is all for now; I hope you enjoyed!! If we have a continuation of this, I have category ideas, such as a Cartoonish DCA, a DCA with very very many features, Sun and Moon as enemies, or any other types of DCA you have in mind! Thanks for reading :D

[whump-me]

Martyr, Chapter 12: Lend Me a Prisoner

Chapter 12 of Martyr, a novel-length sci-fi whump story about a captured Martian rebel with a secret and the renowned interrogator who has waited a decade for the chance to break him. This series is best read in order. Masterpost here.

Contains: whumper POV, cold whumper, aftermath of beating, implied future torture

---

Isadora

Isadora had lost track of time. She had thought it was still midmorning. Instead, it was lunchtime, and no one was at their desks. When she passed the cafeteria, the noise from inside told her everyone who wasn’t out on assignment was in there, enjoying a break together.

Which meant that if she walked in, they would all see her. Her bruised throat, her rumpled uniform. The emotion on her face. She wasn’t even sure what her face would show. She didn’t know what she was feeling. Anger was the wrong word—it was too simple. Shame, maybe. Her old therapist back on Earth could have told her. But there was a reason she had stopped going to therapy as soon as the military had cleared her.

She weighed the thought of walking in and showing everyone far more than she wanted them to see, versus the idea of pacing back and forth in the hallway until everyone got done eating. The restless fire in her veins made the decision for her. She threw the doors open and marched to the far end of the room, ignoring the stares, the sudden hush that turned into a flurry of whispers.

Clara Benoit was sitting alone, eating whatever slop the cafeteria was serving for lunch today—it was green, with the consistency of oatmeal, and smelled like broccoli after it had gone through the digestive system of some lower-order mammal. The woman’s head jerked up sharply as Isadora rattled the table. When her eyes locked on Isadora, naked terror flooded her face.

Isadora couldn’t blame her. She scared her people at the best of times, even though she was never anything other than fair to them. Having a reputation for being willing to get things done, on a planet full of lazy people trying to get away with doing the bare minimum, would do that. And that was when she didn’t look like she had just come out of a fight.

Benoit was young. One of this year’s new recruits, still not adjusted to the gravity in the Martian domes, which was ever so slightly higher than Earth’s. She moved with the telltale stiffness all new recruits had, like she was constantly sore after a hard workout. Whoever had made the adjustments to make the gravity more Earthlike had overcompensated, and no one—not the initial colonists, and not Earth’s soldiers—had bothered to correct the problem. Typical for this planet. Isadora didn’t think the two of them had ever had an actual conversation before, aside from the initial intake interview where Isadora had made sure she wasn’t stupid or lazy enough to throw Isadora’s entire operation into jeopardy.

“Benoit,” Isadora began. Her voice was raspy. Speaking hurts. She had spoken too soon when she had said she wouldn’t destroy Wraith. By the time she was done with him, he—

No. She would not let anger master her. Not even after what he had done, the way he had so thoroughly made a fool of her. If she did, she would be handing him a victory. Another victory. She took a deep breath.

“Yes?” Benoit said hesitantly. “I mean, um, yes, ma’am. I mean… what do you need, ma’am?”

“You currently have three prisoners assigned to you for interrogation,” said Isadora. All of them easy, and none of them important to Special Security’s efforts, if Grayson was handing out assignments correctly. The latest batch of new recruits hadn’t proved themselves yet. Best not to put them in a position where they could do any harm with their mistakes.

“Yes, ma’am. The interrogations are all going well. Would you like an initial report?” She took a nervous look into Isadora’s eyes. “Have… have I done something wrong?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Then… forgive me for asking, ma’am, but what…”

“Never ask forgiveness,” Isadora advised. “It’s a bad habit. As for why I’m here, I have a request. I need to borrow a prisoner.”

The confusion on Benoit’s face didn’t abate. “Borrow a…”

“You really should learn to finish a sentence—you’ll never be able to keep control of an interrogation otherwise. Lend me one of your prisoners. As far as I know, all three of yours are relatively expendable, so it shouldn’t matter which one. Choose based on whatever criteria you like. Whichever one you’re having the most trouble with, maybe. Or whoever you find the most irritating. It doesn’t matter. Finish your meal, make your choice, and send me the file. I want it in front of me within the hour.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but what do you mean by borrow one?”

“I assume you’re familiar with the concept of borrowing,” Isadora said impatiently. “I know you new recruits are often sent to me with shameful gaps in your knowledge, but surely I don’t need to explain basic human social niceties to you.” As Benoit quailed, Isadora took pity on her and relented. “When I say borrow, I mean just that. I require the use of one of your prisoners on a temporary basis. There is, however, a chance you won’t get them back, which is why I came to you. You’re too wet behind the ears to have been assigned a prisoner of any real importance.”

Benoit didn’t appear offended by that. Good. That almost made up for the apologizing and asking forgiveness and all the unfinished sentences. “What do you need them for?”

“That’s not your concern,” Isadora said shortly. “Can you follow my instructions or not?” Some days, Isadora suspected the only reason Earth had put her in charge was because no one else around here knew how to take initiative.

“If you give me more details, I might have a better idea of who to pick.”

“I already told you it doesn’t matter. And I don’t intend to give you more details.”

Benoit swallowed. She got a look in her eyes like she was about to do something she knew she shouldn’t. It was the same look Isadora’s older brother had gotten when they were kids, the day he had decided to leap out of his second-story window to test the wings he had crafted out of paper. He had broken both his legs. Benoit looked as if she anticipated a similar fate.

“I know it’s not my place to say so,” she said in a small voice, “but you don’t seem… yourself today. Is something wrong?”

Isadora fixed her with her patented stare that had made more than one prisoner wet themselves. “What does not myself mean, exactly?” she said in a low, icy voice. “And interrogator should know to be precise with their words. Do you intend to imply that you see something wrong with my simple request? Perhaps you’re concerned for the prisoner in question. You wouldn’t be the first to show sympathy for the rebellion. Have you heard those stories? Do you know how they ended?”

Benoit seemed to shrink in front of Isadora until Isadora was surprised she could still see over the table. A shudder ran through her. She stared down at the green goop in front of her, blinking hard, like she was trying not to cry. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean…”

A trickle of cold disgust ran down the back of Isadora’s neck. Not disgust at the new recruit, even though Benoit was not only back to not finishing her sentences, she was sitting there shaking like she was a prisoner herself, with none of the dignity Special Security should exhibit. Another moment, and she would be a weeping mess. If there was anything Isadora hated more than people who let anger control them, it was people who couldn’t find a backbone. The only thing worse was sloppiness.

But Isadora was only disgusted with herself. Benoit was acting like a prisoner because Isadora was treating her like one. This woman was under her command, which made her Isadora’s responsibility. Hers to protect, hers to teach. Not hers to terrorize. Certainly not for asking a simple question. On any other day, she would have been gratified to see someone asking questions. It would mean they cared enough about their duties to do more than blindly follow orders.

“I’m sorry,” Isadora said.

Benoit’s startled eyes snapped to hers. Isadora couldn’t blame her for the comically befuddled look on her face. She couldn’t remember the last time an apology had left her lips.

“I’ll add a notation to your file granting you an additional week of paid leave,” Isadora continued. “Take it whenever you like, as long as you give at least three days’ notice beforehand.”

That didn’t make Benoit look any less confused. “Thank you, ma’am. But, um… what’s the reason?”

Isadora could hardly say it was out of guilt for the way she had treated her a moment ago. “For lending me that prisoner.” She paused. “And for not mentioning to anyone else that I’m… not myself.”

The woman nodded like an overzealous puppeteer had yanked her strings too hard. “I won’t say anything,” she said, her voice thick with fear. “I promise.” After a pause, she added, “Do you want me to keep this… prisoner borrowing… a secret, too?”

Isadora open her mouth to say yes, then closed it again. In close quarters like this, secrets had a way of getting around. And a rumor with no explanation attached would invite speculation. Isadora didn’t want anyone to guess at the troubles she was having with Wraith. It would be hard enough to get to the security footage of him attacking her and lock it to her clearance level only, before that rumor started spreading too. A prisoner who had managed to lay a hand on the untouchable Isadora Pope… they would whisper about that one in the cafeteria for months.

She really should have taken care of that before coming here. Benoit was right—she wasn’t herself.

“No,” she said. “I’ll handle the necessary explanations.” It shouldn’t be too hard to find some bland bureaucratic reason for her to temporarily take over a prisoner’s interrogation. “Can you get me what I need?”

Her head bobbed, her eyes still wide with fear. “Within the hour,” she promised.

---

Tagged: @straight-to-the-pain @soheavyaburden @gala1981 @whumpacabra @sacredwrath @suspicious-whumping-egg @sonder35 @decahedron-crabclaw @seasaltandcopper

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